Me and Theo have now lived together for 2 and ½ years, and lived in our own house for 3 months, therefore I thought I would put together a post about how living with a boy in your dreams differs from living with your boyfriend in real life.
1) You will nag…
And turn in to your mother all at the same time, or their mother for that matter! Theo says I moan at him all the time, but I always come back at him, and say ‘well if you did it first time around I wouldn’t have to nag’ haha! However, I think neither of you realise how much work is involved with owning a house, rented or bought. There’s the washing up, the hoovering, the mopping, the dusting, the clothes washing, the wiping down the bathroom, the bleaching the toilet, and much, much more. Much more than you ever realised your parents did… that’s for sure. So yes, I do moan, but if you can set the bar high to start with, and give yourself and the boyfriend equal jobs to do, it doesn’t always seem like it’s just you. Don’t have a meltdown – it really does take a lot not to constantly pick at someone else’s messiness, however as I have learn’t recently, take a step back, breathe and discuss. Still, there’s only so many dirty boxers lying around that a girl can take…
2) Don’t be embarrassed
I don’t get embarrassed around Theo, and never really have, but that stems from my parents attitude to being open. They were always so open with each other, with both the good and the bad. Your boyfriend is your best friend too, and life partner, so at some point you will fart in front of them, wee in the same room or even talk about unpleasant happenings such as bowel movements. Theo’s been my rock – when I smashed my elbow apart in 2014 Theo nursed me back to health, washing my hair, feeding me, and even helping me on the loo…. NO WORDS NEEDED. I think seeing each other in a vulnerable state brings you even closer together.
3) Have date nights
Life can get tedious, and it isn’t always fun and romantic, so make sure you make time for you and your partner. You can really get bogged down in routine, and it’s super important to keep the romance alive. Me and Theo live very busy lives, one of us is always away on a trip, or we are at home with Theo’s little girl. It’s easy to not spend time together properly!
4) Sex isn’t the same, but just as good
When you are in your early days of romancing you literally can’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. That lasted for me and Theo for about 12 months, then you move in, get comfortable and you realise sex is only had once a week, and it’s never ‘come through the door, rip their clothes off’ sex. Or maybe once in awhile… Obviously the sex is better now, but you make love, and spend less time ‘shagging’. And I guess the lesson here is, you’ll realise that your sex drives are not necessarily always synced up and you have to learn to deal with that.
5) It’s OK to need space
I am one of those people who cherishes and needs time alone; it’s a fact that my overall mood is happier when I’ve had time to myself and I find more calm when I am not around people all the time. It is the same at work, with friends, and with my boyfriend. I’m more aggy when I spend long periods around people with no break, and love evenings where I can have a pamper, watch shit TV and walk around in my pants. I love spending time with Theo, but often we all need some space. Don’t be afraid to ask for it!
Have you learnt anything after living with a partner?